The Men Don't Get It!!

And some men will never get it!!



I wonder why.



I am not in the dating mode, at least not yet. I'm enjoying my-new-found bachelorette life! But having said this, I miss having a listening partner, someone who has a nice warm shoulder for my tiny head to lean on, someone who would just be there, with nice warm arms surrounding the petite me.



Yes, I'm petite or 'so small' and not that you guys dunno already, but that doesn't mean I'm easy or cheap to feed okay. And telling me you wanted to feed me cheap cow is like an insult to me. Maybe you're trying to inject some humour (yeah, I did say laughter is the best medicine though, but did you consult Readers' Digest before trying your luck at 'humouring' me? The difference: I laughed uncontrollably at theirs. Need I say more?



Honestly, I'm appalled. 'nuff said. Sometimes I feel, maybe men can't read body language, or maybe their eyes are only fixed at a certain same spot (be it whatever spot!), ignoring all other vital important clues as to how welcome they really are, especially if they meet new lady friends, whom, let's say, they would like to get to know better.



And then, out of nowhere, I thought of this - Guide for Guys: Know WHEN to self-disappear when meeting a new lady friend:

1) When she checks her mobile phone frequently. Define frequently: a good gauge is checking her mobile phone once every 40 words you uttered. Okaylah, if you insist, once every 60 words then.



2) When she sends text message while you are talking (maybe she is sending it to her friends nearby to ‘rescue’ her from you!)



3) Keeps nodding her head with the same face expression and agreed (even if she thinks otherwise) with ALL that you said with a simple monotone: "Ya", "That's right", "I see", "Okay", "Really?".



4) Keeps calling out to anyone that walk by, cutting your sentence mid-way.



5) Looking at you blankly while playing with her hair or her manicured nails.



6) Answered your "So, what kind of movie do you enjoy?" or similar type of questions with "Anything lor!" or any of the answers as in point three.

I think six should be enough. Your fate would have already been sealed by the time she displayed her third. Sorry I have no tips for reviving a sealed fate. Don't ask!



Men, men, men.



Personally, I have TWO immediate failures for guys who tried to 'date' me, although some guys would insist that they are not trying to date me. LOL, what’s that then? Excursion? Field Trip?? Humour me please.



Neways, here are my two:

1) Kept coming closer to me while talking. You know, you don’t have to do that. I can hear you very well from where you are standing or sitting, even if there were loud music blasting away in the background. Trust me, I have great hearing power! Seriously, I don't want to breathe in what you breathe out!!



2) Your wandering hands. I think you should keep your filthy hands to yourself and I promise to keep mine to myself, equipped with mini hair-spray: the super-glue type! One wrong move from you, that's it!

And for guys who tried too hard with any girl. See below:

1) Frequent SMS. It’ll just irritate her further. If she doesn’t reply to your tenth SMS within 10 minutes it's a silent "I'm NOT interested", so stop bothering HER!



2) Not all girls are hard up for expensive food or ‘branded’ eateries. Neither are most materialistic! But then, don’t try to impress girls with too much ‘cheap, cheap, cheap’. Be smart, know when to flaunt and when to use the word ‘inexpensive’ subtlely.



3) If after 2 unsuccessful attempts of asking her out for meals, whether breakfast, lunch, dinner or supper, chances are you will fail again, so DO NOT TRY!



4) Stop telling her how rich you are, or what you can afford, see point two.



5) If you wanna eat @ her home, it’s only fair you need an invitation like everyone else. Stop assuming her home is free-for-all. Unless of course if you get a text message like this: I think I love you…

Can you men for once, GET it??

*N.B.* In short, if a girl likes you, she will like you even if you sit there, looking like a nerd with centre-parting oily hair, drinking koka-kola from a straw in a plastic cup, wearing a yellow-colored shirt with turquoise-colored pants and brown-colored qi-gong master shoes. NICE!!

Whatever lah, Happy CNY to all!!