With Life, There Comes Death

Having nothing to read, my eyes were glued to the small JVC telly in the small clinic, scanning the news ticker for the day. My heart skipped a beat at the headline of Richard Stanley. The CEO of DBS had died of leukemia this morning. No i don't know him, not even briefly but his name had came up a few times in our little conversations here and there. My condolences to his family.


Whenever i read about deaths, sudden strong uncomfortable emotions seem to well up out of nowhere in me. I dislike those feelings but it always hit me hard and sometimes, the feelings stay for a few days, like an unwelcome guest.


We all face death eventually. Like it or not, that's how life is. We live, we die. Althought the thoughts of dying is most unpleasant, but that's how everyone ends, just in different ways. I'm not sure about you, but i'm scared of dying. How will i feel when the time comes - will i feel breathless? How does it feel when my soul leaves my body - will i feel pain? Will i know what to do, will i know where to go? Will there be an angel dressed in dark robe to take me to my Maker? Will there be pure darkness along the way? Or will i have at least a candle to hold on to? There are more questions than these that not even the powerful search engine of google can provide me with.


Morbid as it sounds but i kept telling Shane that we must meet again in Heaven after we die. Whoever gets there first will wait for the other. There is no way he's gonna escape from me for all eternity. I love him; in lfe, in death and forever after. For i live knowing i will die. But yet i am consoled because i know, i will see him and all my loved ones again someday.


Especially Mom. I am looking forward to seeing her again and to tell her how much i love her, miss her. I am most willing, when the time comes, to sit thru her nagging again for i am conscious of the wrong things i have done and i know she knew it all. I promise not to be rude and neither will i talk back at her. For this is God's promise to me for a second chance with my mother. But then i'm not sure how Mom will react when she finally sees Stepmom. Of course, someday, the two beautiful ladies will have to meet.


Well, that is probably Dad's problem ;)